Brothers, Hope & Hearts

                                                                                    Excerpt from Chapter 1

 New York

August 1

Early Afternoon

 

Liam Reade was home. She could hear the TV blaring a sporting event. And knowing him, it was probably some soccer match he’d seen already.

But she’d been standing in front of his apartment for ten minutes and the door still hadn’t opened.

You haven’t knocked.

Okay, okay.

Elsa Winters lifted her hand and before she could second guess her decision, knocked. Habit had her tapping out two rapid knocks, resting a heartbeat and then repeating with two more rapid ones.

If she closed her eyes, she could picture the scene inside.

He’d turn the television down and toss the remote on the coffee table.

There goes the television, she thought as the sounds inside were suddenly silenced.

Then he’d glance around the room to see if he needed to put anything away.

He’s dropping his shirt over a chair.

And because he had long legs, he’d reach the door in four to five steps.

Chain one removed.

Deadbolt

And then…

The door was yanked open, and she’d thought she was ready. But that was before she’d been faced with six feet of deliciousness.

“Elsa,” Liam’s sexy baritone slithered along her skin. “Did we have plans?”

Don’t stare at his bare chest.

“No,” she mentally patted herself on the back for sounding normal. “I…I just need to tell you something. I won’t take long.”

And don’t admire his flat abs the cut off sweats expose as they hang low on his hips.

“Come in.”

He moved aside for her to enter and as she did, Elsa held her breath and stepped across the threshold.

She didn’t want to smell his musky cologne. Nor feel the heat from his body. Because when she did, it was a fight not to step into him and bury her nose against his furry chest. And if she did that, it would be too difficult to do what needed to be done.

“I’ll not be long.”

Unless…

“It’s fine, love. It’s just Liverpool.”

Her hands were sweating, and her heart was racing.

“Have a seat,” Liam waved toward the sofa and waited for her.

“Thanks.”

Just spit it out.

“I,” Elsa glanced down, took a deep breath and blurted, “I came to say goodbye.”

“Goodbye?” Liam frowned. “Are you going on a vacation?”

Told you he wouldn’t remember.

“In a way.”

“Elsa, love,” Liam stroked the top of her hand with his long fingers. “What’s going on?”

“I’m moving,” Elsa spit out. “Remember? I told you a month ago.’

Liam’s blue eyes darkened, and his dark brows drew together in confusion. She could tell he was trying to place the conversation she was referring to.

“Moving? When? Where?”

She wanted to say so many things, but experience told her, it wouldn’t matter. If he’d cared, he would have listened.

“I finished my residency,” she reminded him. “And while Queen’s Court made a good offer, I got a better one.”

“A better one?” Liam brushed both hands through his hair, a sure sign of agitation. “What could be better than working for Queen’s’ here in New York City?”

Say it.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Elsa tossed out, “possibly a place where I have more control. I want to see office patients, hospital ones, and have a life. Tate promised it was possible.

“Tate?”

“Doctor Tate Doolittle,” Elsa explained. “Head of Swan Harbor General’s pediatrics.”

“Wait, you’re moving to Swan Harbor?”

Ask me to stay.

“I am.” Elsa forced herself to stand. “Anyway, I just wanted you to know that before I…you know, leave.”

“But,” Liam looked around, almost as if he were looking for answers, “but…”

Ask me.

“Liam,” a buxom redhead stepped from the bedroom, ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I borrowed a shirt. Mine…”

Elsa’s mouth dropped open, and all she could think was he didn’t wait long to find someone new. “I’m sorry. I should go.”

“Wait,” Liam began.

But Elsa wasn’t in the mood to hear any of his excuses, nor to meet the replacement girlfriend. “No, I need to finish packing.”

She didn’t wait for any explanations, but pushed by him and made a beeline for the door.

“Elsa, wait,” Liam called again, and this time lightly touched her elbow to slow her exit. “When are you leaving?”

“In a couple days,” Elsa shrugged. “It just depends on when I get everything done. I’ll…” and then she made the mistake of looking at him.

His hands were held tightly at his side, curled into fists. And his body was rigid with, dare she hope, a desire to reach for her? But it was the eyes that said what his words didn’t.

I’m going to miss you.

Please stay.

I’m sorry.

“Take care of yourself.” And she couldn’t resist going up on her toes to kiss him goodbye. “I’ll see you around.”

Elsa rushed by him, worried if he said anything more, the tears clogged in her throat would fall. You’ve almost made it, she thought as she cleared the door. But then he caught her wrist.

“Elsa.”

Don’t look, she warned.

“Look at me,” but she couldn’t, until he uttered, “please,” and she heard his voice break.

“I can’t,” she whispered, tugging her hand free and practically running to the elevator.

The doors were barely closed before the first tear fell.

Crap.

She couldn’t cry over him.

But it hurts.

He’d already replaced her and moved on.

“You’ve done it now, Elsa,” she muttered as she crossed the street into Central Park. “There’s no going back.”

                                                                                   ***

Liam shut the door and, grabbing his shirt, slipped it over his head on his way back to the sofa.

“What the hell was that?” Barbi snapped, as she stepped from the bedroom in one of his dress shirts and her jeans.

“What?” he asked, the nonchalance in his voice a perfect accompaniment to the ‘neutral’ question. So perfect, in fact, he didn’t think anyone could see beneath it.

But Elsa, his inner voice offered.

He didn’t agree, but it no longer mattered. She was moving and he couldn’t stop her.

You could have asked her to stay.

“Come on, Liam,” Barbi dropped into the chair adjacent to the sofa and tucked her legs beneath her. “You care for that woman. Why did you just allow her to leave?”

“Of course, I care for her,” Liam shrugged. “We’ve been friends for a while and work for the same hospital.”

“Cut the bull,” Barbi snapped.

“I’m not—”

“It’s just like Debi Monroe.” she barreled on.

That name still had the power to create an ache in the center of his chest. But to compare the feelings of his twenty-one-year-old self to now…

“This is nothing like that,” Liam insisted. “Nothing.”

Only because you refuse to…

“Liam,” Barbi unfolded her legs and scooted forward on the chair. “Sometimes we have to let go of the past in order to move toward the future.”

Just like Killian had done.

“Are you trying to knock some sense into Liam, Hon?” Justin, her husband of a year asked as he entered the room. “You know he’s too stubborn to listen.”

“I’m beginning to remember that,” Barbi groused. “But Liam you really should set her straight. She thinks you and I are…”

“Look, it’s no big deal. Do you want to go grab a bite to eat?” Liam asked, changing the subject. “I’m hungry all of a sudden.”

“You’re always hungry,” Justin grumbled. “But we can’t right now. Barbi and I have to head back to the apartment in a few to check on the clean-up.”

“Think they’ve started?”

“I hope so,” Barbi groaned. “We don’t want to overstay our welcome.”

“You’re fine,” Liam assured her. “I’m happy to help.”

“We’ll let you know if we need a place tonight. But Liam,” Barbi’s brown eyes met his. “Go talk to her. Tell her I didn’t spend the night.”

“But that would be a lie,” Liam’s blue eyes twinkled. “Wouldn’t it?”

“Oh you!” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and flounced out of the room.

“Does she always pout when she doesn’t get her way?”

Justin laughed, “Don’t ask me. You’ve known her longer than I have.”

“But you’re married to her,” Liam pointed out.

“True,” Justin acknowledged. “But in this situation, I agree with Barb. Go talk to your lady friend. She deserves to know the truth.”

Liam turned the television sound on, hoping that when Justin and Barbi came back out of the room they were using, they’d ignore him. He hadn’t offered them a place to stay so they could dig into his psyche. It was all about helping a couple of friends because their place smelled like smoke. Nothing more, nothing less.

Are you sure about that?

What else could it be?

A way for you to bury your head and not have to deal.

Liam scoffed at his own thoughts.

“We’ll see you later, Liam,” Barbi waved. “Remember what I said.”

Once they were gone, Liam tried to get back into the match. But with Liverpool ahead by three goals, his attention was scattered.

It has nothing to do with the score.

That’s not true.

It didn’t take long before he couldn’t stand his own company and, after changing into jeans, he left his apartment behind. It had nothing to do with their suggestion for him to talk to Elsa. He was hungry and listening to his stomach.

Right! And I’ve got a prime piece of property to sell you.

His meandering took him by Queen’s Court Medical and O’Toole’s. But he wasn’t scheduled to work, and it was too late for lunch and too early for dinner at the bar. Besides, he wasn’t in the mood for people.

Face it, you want to see her.

Who?

The fact he could imagine his inner voice raising a brow in disbelief was unsettling. And that he could also imagine its facial expressions was terrifying. But since he wasn’t in the mood to deal with heavy thoughts, he pushed them away for later.

That’s what you always do.

Do not, he argued.

And just to prove he was in control, he ducked into a Nathan’s. But even after he’d eaten a hot dog and fries, the sense of needing to be somewhere remained. He was being pulled by an invisible thread, and where it was leading was beyond his control.

His feet unerringly carried him through Central Park to the Upper West Side. A right, a left, and two streets over, and he was standing in front of Elsa’s apartment building.

He’d been to her apartment many times since January when he’d taken Killian. It was modern to his ancient, homey to his sterile, and he’d been completely enamored. But even with the knowledge that she was dangerous to everything he’d come to believe; he’d jumped in with both feet. Could he let her just walk out of his life?

You have no choice.

But was that the truth?

It’s the only truth you’re ready to hear.

Meaning?

Meaning sometimes we have to be willing to look inside to find the answers.

Like Killian did?

Yes.

But I’m not suffering from the same issues as Killian.

Aren’t you?

No! And even if I was, there’s no Violet out there waiting.

True. But there’s an Elsa. Isn’t she enough?